


One Step At A Time

by FlamboyantProblematic



Category: Disco Elysium (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:01:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26875606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlamboyantProblematic/pseuds/FlamboyantProblematic
Summary: Discotober writing prompt week 2: HealingAU where Glen lives after the tribunal but due to his injuries he becomes paraplegic and wishes he would have just died. He and Titus try to manage their new lives together and hope they can begin to heal.
Relationships: Glen/Titus Hardie
Kudos: 2





	One Step At A Time

Night fades as the sky outside turns orange, the sun rises and sends her rays through the clouds as a wake up call to the citizens of Martinaise, but when the light seeps through the cracks in the window to his home, Glen does not feel her warmth, instead, there's only the cold harsh reality that he cannot feel anything, not even his legs. He closes his eyes and tries to get out of bed, but is unable to. No amount of physical power could change that. His big masculine body has failed him.

He swallows a curse and stares at the ceiling at the old and moldy wood of the walls and sad, faded sports posters, and pictures of scantily dressed women. It doesn't make him feel better.

The door opens, immediately sending his brain on red alert but there's little he can do when his body doesn't respond. He searches under his pillow for his gun only to be reassured when the stranger speaks.

"Howdy." He hears the familiar voice of his best friend, now lover, and it calms him down, only then does he realize that the bed space beside him is empty.

The blonde props himself up on his elbows and then drags the lower part of his body with him as he tries to sit up to the best of his ability. He looks at the slightly older man in the room, in his hand is a bag he recognizes from all their take-outs from the diner that has its logo on the paper bag.

Titus sets it down on the nightstand before sitting in the space next to Glen. There's so much the former rugby player wants to say but everything dies on its way up to his throat and out his mouth.

"Come on, let's get you up, buddy," Titus wraps the other man's arms around his neck and pulls him up, making sure he doesn't hurt him as he carries him into the bathroom. "I thought I'd wake up early and get us some breakfast before I have to head out."

Glen could have been the one surprising him with early breakfast if he could just...

The water is cold against his skin. Usually, he wouldn't even think of it, but it's depressing. "I can wash my own fuckin' face. My hands still work."

Titus chuckles. "I know. You were just out of it. Thought maybe you were still asleep." He playfully moves a few strands of golden hair behind his partner's ear. Glen slaps his hand away.

"Fuck off."

It earns him another laugh. He shouldn't be angry at Titus. Not after all the shit he's put up with just so that Glen could get out of bed in the morning.

Another splash of water washes the anger away.

The two have breakfast after that. The blonde can't find the energy to feast on his eggs and bacon sandwich as he usually would. They eat in heavy silence until Titus throws the ball that shatters it. "You should go out today while I'm at work. Get some air. Should be good for you."

He should get used to using his wheelchair but he feels embarrassed to be seen in it. Usually, he could just punch anyone who makes fun of him but... Yeah...

Masculinity, how fragile is thee...

Meanwhile, Titus has to work for both of them. They once had a dream of growing up to be great rugby players together, and though they made it come true, it was now gone, all because he lived. Titus could have continued his career but it was hard to split time between work, rugby, looking after him, and managing the Hardie boys.

Fuck.

"Hey, easy, the damn thing is already dead. What are you tryin'a do? Make sandwich juice?"

Glen hasn't even noticed how tightly his nails have latched on to the poor piece of bread, almost squeezing the oil out of the sandwich.

"Sorry."

"Don't apologize to me. Apologize to the sandwich."

A sigh.

Titus finishes his breakfast and gets up. "I gotta go," He leans over the table to kiss the crown of golden hair. "Please stay out of trouble."

Glen laughs bitterly. "Very fuckin' funny, asshole."

"I mean it, Glenny."

Yeah, well there's not much Glen can do really. He watches as Titus leaves, and then he's alone with his thoughts.

It's strange how dependant he's become. Titus can't even leave him alone without him feeling like shit... He needs him, needs him to help him do the most basic things. He always needed him, even before this.

He hates it; living like this. Immobilized. Needing someone constantly like a child.

The few first days were the hardest. There were multiple times where he tried to just end his own life. What use is he to anyone like this after all? He knows where Titus kept his guns, he could reach the kitchen knife, he could break the mirror or end himself on the sharp edge of a beer bottle, or take one too many of his pills... But he couldn't even do that. He couldn't because he couldn't bear to think how much that would hurt Titus.

Glen lost his rugby career, he couldn't work, he's not even good enough to be a Hardie Boy now. He was like a fish out of water, struggling with every move but there was nothing he could do about it... nothing but gasp for air and hope he can find water soon.

Sometimes when he lies down he could still remember the feeling of the bullets ripping through him like paper, the terrifying feeling of watching helplessly as his blood pools beneath him. The moment he felt the life leave his lower body. He couldn't move, no matter how hard he tried, his legs just wouldn't obey.

The sound of gunshots rang in his head like the Grim Reaper's bell. All he could think of that moment was Titus. How he regret not telling him how he felt about him all these long, long, painful years. He thought he was fearless but death made a coward of even the bravest men. He didn't think he would make it... but somehow... He did. He was allowed a second chance and now he just wanted to throw it away.

Living like this is hard. It's one of the hardest things he's ever had to do but they'll manage, Titus always told him that... they'll manage because they always did.

He could really go for a jog right now to clear his head but alas. At least there were things he could still do to keep the upper part of his body fit. It was just to make himself feel good. He looks down at the wheels of his chair, his fingers against the metal never felt welcoming. It was always so cold. Regardless, he moves the chair back and to the small gym Titus had set up for him. Dumbbells all lined up for him to lift.

On the wall behind the dumbbells was a list:

  *   
Shoulder rolls  
Arm circles  
Shoulder press  
Chest press



  
Then a small message:  
_"Only if I'm here"_

  *   
Knees to chest  
Leg lifts  
Ankle pulls  
Hamstring stretch



  
Another small note:  
_"Don't touch the machines, you dumb fuck"_ then at the end. _"T."_

There was an exercise band hung on a hook that Titus nailed into the wall for workouts. It was big and very stretchy. Glen could wrap it around himself and the chair. A substitute for some gym equipment. His man did his research, Glen can't help but feel thankful for that. He would surely go insane if he didn't have something to keep his mind of his shitty situation.

So he started with the warm-ups, rolling his shoulders forward, then backwards. His eyes were focused on one thing. "T."

At times he wondered what good has he ever done to deserve someone like Titus. Titus was a god to be worshipped. He was the charming, charismatic, lovable, funny, and smart leader. Was Glen angry that his buddy made a mistake that led him to live the rest of his life immobilized? No. Not really. Because Glen would have gone to hell and back if that's what Titus wanted. He was always a burden on Titus, always, ever since they were kids. Titus had to keep him out of trouble, had to carry the weight of his anger, had to make sure Glen never snapped, had to deal with Glen's abusive father. If it hadn't been for him, well, Glen might have gone insane, or hell, he might not have even made it past sixteen. His anger would have surely led him to his death.

The thought was both comforting and depressing. He was glad he had Titus but... He hated how much he needed him.

He remembers Titus smiling when they first knew that they'll be alright, despite the bad news that Glen will never walk again. He was just happy they made it. The blonde couldn't find it in himself to be that optimistic. They did what they could regardless. Glen lives in an old shack near the sea where Titus and his father fished. They discovered this place together. It was where Glen went when he needed to escape from his father as a kid. With some handy work, he and Titus managed to make it into a fine home.

They went on walks regularly to help Glen get used to his wheelchair, and of course, they had their own workout routines to help Glen keep his figure... as if it meant anything anymore. Titus liked to pretend that everything was normal, but Glen knew it wasn't. He didn't feel normal. He didn't like feeling like everyone was looking at him with sympathy as though he was some weak helpless bitch. He didn't like needing help with things he usually could do on his own in a few seconds... and worst of all... no sex. More so, everything was fucking costly, from "treatment" to therapy, to his medication. But they tried their best to get by.

He sighs as he checks the warm-ups off the list, having just finished doing the shoulder presses with the dumbbells. He picks up the exercise band and stretches it from the back of his shoulders and grabs each end, pushing the band in front of him, then loosening them by bending his elbows, he went on for a while then switched to chest flies (which was much of the same except stretching to the sides instead of straight ahead)

Exercising always made him feel better, perhaps it was the notion that he could still keep some of his macho manliness by looking somewhat intimidating with his muscles beefed up. It was sports, and he loves sports.

At first, it was hard and painful. He was instructed to start small and work his way up to more tasking exercises. Now he could finish up most of the exercises on his own.

But now that that was off the list, it was time for the real hard part... occupying his time with whatever until Titus got home. He did a variety of things that included listening to the sports broadcast on the radio, cleaning his and Titus's guns, heating up some pizza for lunch, and he even thought of going to the Whirling to meet with the old lady there. He was ashamed he couldn't remember her name... Linda? Lena? The old woman in the wheelchair. She probably has some advice to give him on how to keep his wheels from getting stuck in the snow during the worst days.

At that thought, Glen wheels himself outside. The world does not care about him and his changed life; the birds keep chirping, the waves and the land keep dancing, and life simply goes on. There's a little ramp to help him exit and enter the shack easier, but after that point, it's him and the harsh surface of the ground beneath. It's a little bumpy and honestly... He hates it. But beggars can't be choosers.

He takes a walk around the sea where he lives. He remembers many stories about the sea from Titus's dad. Glen had been a part of a few fishing trips with the Hardies. The old family boat was still tied to the jetty just outside. He and Titus used to take it out sometimes to explore more of the sea...It's upsetting to think he can't even do that anymore.

He ends up staying there for longer than he intended, staring out at the horizon, listening to the waves. He's never had so much time to think before and it fucking sucks. What the fuck? How do people do this?

The wind carries no answers to his rhetorical question. Martinaise simply looks back at him in silence.

Not too long after, the sun waves goodbye to him and he watches her descend slowly to begin her journey to the other side of the globe, taking with her, her rays of light.

"I come out here to think too," Glen looks up to see Titus standing beside him, a duffle bag in hand. He adjusts his orange baseball cap back into place before meeting the blue icy gaze of his partner. "Howdy. Hope you didn't get too bored without me."

He shrugs.

"Glad you're following the workout routine I gave ya."

"Gotta do somethin'."

He slaps his companion on the shoulder playfully. "Yeah, gotta keep in shape. But you smell like shit from all the sweatin' and," he pauses to take a whiff of his own stench. "Ugh, so do I. Come on, shower time."

They would have just jumped into the water right then and there, just like they always used to. He will miss the sea and dunking Titus's head under the water as they squabble and fight like children. But there's little time to ruminate on the memories before he's wheeled away and back into the house.

"You know, would be nice if you did some cleaning while I'm gone."

Glen didn't like the sound of that; staying home, cleaning, washing, doing chores... like a housewife. He knew Titus didn't mean it like that. He wasn't trying to poke Glen's already fragile masculine ego, but he still took offense.

The bright side of this was that Titus saw that he could still do some sort of work, even something as simple as tidying up the place.

The sound of water running, mixed in with the steam of the hot water was already relaxing. The blonde took off his shirt and tried to push his shorts off. He just needs to push himself up...

Titus is patient and lets him, watching him with amusement for a brief moment before turning his attention to the water. He put a hand under the showerhead to test the temperature, and when it was warm enough, he turned back to his lover who was now sitting naked in waiting.

It wasn't the steam making the air heavy in the small bathroom... it was Glen's unusual silence. He barely says anything any more and Titus doesn't blame him. Their lives changed tremendously after that shootout in front of the Whirling. He kept hopeful, that one day everything will be alright again. Time will heal them. They're the Hardie Boys. They don't give up. And Glen, Glen is one of the toughest fucks he's ever known in his life(and he knows a lot of tough fucks) No matter how hard life punched him, he always fought back and gave it all he's got.

But he's never seen the younger man this broken before, ever, and he's known him his entire life. They've been through the worst of their lives together... But this? Perhaps it's the straw that broke the camel's back (or spine in this case) there were days where Titus wasn't sure if Glen would even be alive the next day after a few brutal beatings from his father. If he survived that, he could survive this. They both can. Titus was determined to carry Glen through this. No matter how long it takes.

At the sound of shuffling clothes, the blonde looks up to see the older man undressing. Their eyes meet and Titus smirks, teasing Glen by slowly unbuckling his belt then taking off his pants. He stands before his lover, only in his boxers, letting Glen enjoy the view; every beautiful scar, every muscle. It would surely get any pussy wet and any dick rock solid but...

"You know I can't feel nothin' down there."

Titus chuckles. "Yeah, but if you could, bet you'd be hard as fuck right now."

Glen smiles for the first time today. "Fuckin' in the shower."

"Just like the old days in the locker rooms." He finally takes off his boxers and stands in all the glory of Rome. Glen admires him in the few seconds he's given before he wraps his arms around Titus as the older man carries him into the shower.

The warm water washes down on him like rain and as it leaves his body, it takes with it bits and pieces of his pain.

"Good?"

"Yeah."

Titus grabs the showerhead and moves it around the both of them, reaching out with his free hand to run his fingers through the wet golden locks of his lover. Glen suppresses a sigh, his ocean eyes disappear behind his closed lids. He's lost all the anger that has fueled him over the years. There was nothing left of him now but this broken thing. He feels so pathetic... so tired and so pathetic. At that moment, he wishes the water could drown him.

He tries again to will his legs to move. To do anything, even if to just twitch, but they remain dead. He bites on his lower lip and feels a lump form in his throat. When he opens his eyes, he feels thankful for the water masking his tears. He tried to hold them back and cursed himself for being this weak, but he just felt so fucking exhausted.

Titus lowers his hand to the side of Glen's face, caressing his cheek caringly. His thumb rubbing soothing strokes over the days old stubble before gently brushing his thumb under his eyes, wiping away his tears. He pretends as though he didn't know what the warm liquid was, just some more drops of water, nothing else. Regardless, he puts the showerhead up back on the stand and lets it rain over them as he leans forward and presses his lips against his lover's. Glen kisses back lazily at first but grows more desperate with time, wrapping his arms around Titus and letting his fingers brush over his short dark hair.

At least he can have this, he can feel heaven on earth right there on Titus's lips.

When they part, there's a silent 'I love you' shared between them before Glen turns away to reach for the shampoo. he squeezes a bit into his hand and then runs his fingers through Titus's hair, massaging the shampoo onto the black strands. Titus grins and lets Glen wash his hair before doing the same to him, then he rubs his still foamy hands on Glen's face, making sure not to get any of it in his eyes. The two laugh and have a bubble fight, blowing bubbles into each other's faces and attempting to cover one another in foam before Titus moves the shower head and lets the water wash away their bubbly kingdom.

"What do you want for dinner today?"

"Why? You gonna try to cook?"

Titus snorts. "Tch, no. Unless you want shit for dinner." He grabs the soap and slathers his hands with it before cleaning himself then he does the same for Glen.

"I can do that myself." The blonde barks.

"No room for romance with you, huh?"

"Give me that." Glen snatches the showerhead from Titus and lets the water drain the soap away, he then points it at Titus, directly at his face, making the older man have to cover his head with his arms.

"Knock it off you asshole."

The blonde laughs maniacally as Titus blindly tries to swat the showerhead out of his hands. He follows the flow of the water to Glen's wrist and grabs it, causing him to turn the head upwards. He reaches over Glen's head with his free hand to turn the water off before it gets out of control and drowns the entire bathroom.

"Alright, that's enough. Time to dry off," He stands up to grab his towel from the rack and another one for Glen. As he did, the younger man couldn't help but take a peek at that sweet sweet masculine ass. He might not be able to stick his dick in it but he can still hold it in his hands and bury his face between those firm cheeks. Woof Woof!! "Woah there, tiger."

Glen snaps out of his thoughts and looks up at his companion who is smirking at him. "What?"

"You're slobberin'." he snickers.

"No, I'm not."

"Mhm, you are." He wraps the towel around himself then helps Glen up, supporting his weight on his body as he dries his hair then covers him with the towel before carrying him back to his chair and wheeling him to the bedroom where the two of them got dressed.

They waste the rest of the day on the couch, flipping through TV channels. The thing was just a small screen box, courtesy of Evrart. It was good for passing time. They got a few beers and heated some noodles for dinner that was now getting cold again on the table. Glen rests his head over Titus's chest, letting his lifeless legs tangle with his lover's own. It was easier when Titus rested on him, Glen is the taller one of the two but they fit together regardless.

With his free hand that wasn't wrapped around the younger man, Titus moves the long golden locks back, giving himself space to plant a kiss on Glen's forehead. Glen huffs but leans towards his lover's lips, lifting his head so that he could meet him for a kiss, but was left swallowing air as Titus pulled back. The ghost of him tastes so bittersweet. What a tease.

Then it's silent again. The TV becomes the only noise in the room, and yet it's drowned out by Glen's thoughts. Perhaps he saw something that reminds him of his own helplessness. As he stares blankly at the TV, his brain floods him with memories of all the times he felt useless. The day he argued with Titus on whether or not he could reach one of the shelves to grab some plates and ended up breaking everything, the day he insisted he could somehow will himself to walk again and ended up just making a fool out of himself... those thoughts burned his head. He'll never be normal again, not that he was normal before but... At least his problems were his own.

Even now he felt powerless and weak, he was on the verge of tears every single second of every day and he just wanted to break, but for what remains of his dignity, he didn't let himself lose that last strand that kept him together.

Will it ever be the same again?

"Sure it will. Just give it some time."

Glen lifts his head to see Titus looking back at him. His thoughts have betrayed him and left his lips without him noticing. Titus is too hopeful, how could he look him in the eyes and pretend like he believes him?

"We'll be alright, Glenny. We always make it through."

"It don't feel that. I don't feel like it'll ever be fuckin' fine again."

"Maybe not now, but it will be someday."

He was too tired of 'it will be's. His entire life feels like a never-ending fight and he couldn't even tap out. But he trusts Titus. He just has to fight for a bit longer. A bitter laugh made its way out of his lips and when Titus tilts his head in confusion, he finally says, "Why do you even put up with me, T?"

"Shit, Glen. I know you're dumb but that's a fuckin' ridiculous question," That wasn't the answer Glen was hoping for. "Remember when we were kids and I broke my old man's huntin' rifle? You told me I would break it but I thought I knew better."

"Yeah, he was pissed as fuck."

"Yeah. But you took the blame for that. You shouldn't have and I still think it was stupid of you to do that when I should have listened to you but you did it anyway. And that time we saw that dyin' man on the street and you said you'll kill 'em 'cause you don't want me to get no blood on my hands? Who fuckin' does that for someone, Glenny? Granted I got lots of blood on my hands now but that's not the point. You trust me, even after I fuckin' got you into this mess. You still trust me. You've always been good to me, man. Only a crazy fuck like you would do that. You're one of a kind, Glen," He's lucky to have him just as much as Glen is lucky to have Titus. He smiles, it's full of love and admiration. "I would do fuckin' anythin' for you 'cause I know you would do anythin' for me. This whole thing, it ain't shit compared to what you've always done for me. All the shit you went through 'cause I told you to. It's my fault this happened to you in the first place."

Glen shakes his head and he punches Titus lightly on the chest. "Don't you ever think that, Titus Hardie. It ain't your fault. Shit happens."

"And you could have died." Sometimes he still has nightmares of seeing Glen bleeding out and being unable to reach him, everything in horrifying, clear, and realistic details. It leaves him petrified. On the bright side, the near-death experience gave the two the courage to confess their feelings after twenty long excruciating years. Titus goes on, "You're my best friend, you crazy fuck."

Glen grins. "Yeah, yeah. And you're mine, fucko."

Laughter fills the room as the two wrap their arms around one another. A weight lifts from Glen's heart. As long as he has Titus, he'll heal. He might not be able to play Rugby anymore or fight... but he'll find a new purpose. There's a place for the world for him yet. He just has to find it. Right now, his place is right here, slumped over Titus, wrapped up in his arms, kissing his soft cherry beer flavored lips.

It was comforting to hear Titus breathe, to feel his every heartbeat with every rise and fall of his chest. He never knew how much he took that for granted. For the first time in a while, he felt glad to be alive, glad he could just close his eyes and listen to the thudding of his lover's heart against his ear. God, what a beautiful sound.

"Feelin' tired?"

The blonde shakes his head.

"Want to go to the bedroom?"

"Why? We gonna try to fuck?"

Titus smirked. "If you're feeling brave enough."

"Good luck gettin' this dead thing up." He looks down at his crotch.

"Believe in miracles."

This was all shits and giggles but shit, Glen wishes he could make sweet sweet love to his lover right now as Titus holds his face in his giant hand. The blonde makes a face, almost a pout but much more aggressive, even when he knows the other man is not threatened by his antics.

He was fine with just this, with Titus pulling him closer till their lips meet and the soft look in his lover's eyes when they part, coupled with his playful and charming smile. There will be hard days to come. The world is not done breaking them yet. But as long as they had each other, they'll be fine. Time will mend them. He had to believe that so he could truly begin to heal.

He'll try. He owes Titus that much.

As he rests his head back on Titus's chest they decide they'll just finish this movie and a few more cans of beer then go to bed.

The silence is kind to him this time around but it doesn't take too long before Titus speaks again, his voice is calm and almost quiet, "hey, Glen?"

"Yeah, T?"

"We'll be alright." He says again.

Glen doesn't say anything, he simply smiles, it's all the answer Titus needs.

Tomorrow is a new day.


End file.
